Thursday, December 29, 2011


Fuuuuuck me.
"Another BikeRumor thinnnnnnnng?"you say?Yes,because this thing is on the same level as that 29 inch clusterfuck.

So they start off by calling this bike an "Enduro machine" which is a completly false statement.I don't know how much the dorks over at BikeRumor follow enduro,but a glance at the last issue of Dirt will quickly change their choice of name for this bike.Most actual enduro bikes these days are minium 160mm of travel front and back,slack as all get out(Fabien Barel's enduro bike has a 64 headangle),have a chainguide,and also always have the absolute must on a trail bike,a dropper post.What this bike's real name should be is "Really light with shitty out of date components that only old men would ride agressive XC bike."Notice the use of the word agressive,which makes people think this bike can be fucking hammered on any terrain.

They then take a dive into the "highlights" of this agressive XC wonderbike.I will give them this,that Rocky frame is pretty rad.That being said,every other part on the "Old man singletrack litewait shred machine"is a fucking joke.Roval wheels?Really?I don't give a shit if Maclaren had something to do with the layup of these wheels or not,they're still gonna be flexy,underspoked dog turds.Obviously if you're building a trail ripping machine your first choice of tire would be a 2.0 Specialized Fast Trak 2bliss,right?Holy shit could you mount up a worse tire to a full suspension bike?I honestly couldn't think of a tire I would want stuck to my rims any less.An all Ritchey cockpit,hell yes!Some weird ass 3 bolt stem with a significant rise and absurd length,bolted up to some kickass 680mm bars,all combined with a solid fists worth of spacers.Ahhhh,comfort right there.Oh,oh...don't forget the old man/29'er enthusiast grip of choice.Any of Ergon's brightly colored multi textured shitboxes they call grips.

I do have some suggestions on how to make this steed that much more ultimate for BikeRumor though.
1.Ditch the Cateye Strada on the bars,there.Then again,you couldn't tell all your friends you hit that new top speed of 18mph down that fireroad and totally did 1500' of climbing yesterday morning.You could post it on Strava and measure your dick that way,though.
2.Take the fork lockout off.Although nothing screams "efficent climber!" like a Pro-Pedal firmed up rear end and a rock solid fork.
3.Ditch the seat that comes stock on most women's $500 hardtails and replace it with a carbon railed Silverado.
4.Maybe,just maybe some new seals on the fork?Looks a little grimey on that close up.
5.You should probably put the end cap back on the shifter to keep shit from ruining that super sweet double down click 9 speed XTR shifter.
Just some suggestions BikeRumor.

All I know is i'm sure glad my peadly bike shares nothing in common with that thing.From my 760mm bars,2.4'' tires,coil sprung fork,and chain guide.My bike is like the weird cousin who listens to too much Motorhead to the dainty little fellow who enjoys furniture from Restoration Hardware that is that Rocky Mountain.

Once again bikes should look something like this,
-8'' of travel.
-Coil suspension.
-Big bars.
-Rotor destroying brakes
-Dirtbike-esque tires.

A manly man man's bike and the current apple of my eye.The Intense m9.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

All that is wrong.

Stop.Just fucking stop.
I don't know who or what Eden Bicycles is but I hate them.I mean look at this clusterfuck they call a "engineering exercise".They start with a bike that I see wayyyyy too many of out on the trails,all piloted by the same I think i'm fast as fuck captain 29'er.Then they "retrofitted"(editors note:this is what i'm goning to start telling customers..."yeah,yeah I can retrofit that rear derailer by Wensday") an XTR XC group on there,but subbed out the derailers and shifters for Di2 shit.They also "custom cut" a new pulley cage for the rear derailer,which in the close up picture looks like my Dad drunkenly sketched onto a piece of sheet alumnium and cut it out with a dull skill saw.

To me,this bike sums up everything I hate about bikes I hate.29'ers suck and are crutches for people who don't have the want nor skill to learn how to properly ride a bike.They're for roadies who dabble in the dirt/roadie converts,too.Di2 is cool.Far better than the unreleased Campy EPS simply on principal.But it can stay on road bikes for all I care.Waterproof connections?I'll believe it when they get a season of mud,sand,rockstrikes,and water all mixed into one and that shit still works.Also,what the fucks wrong with XT Dyna-sys?It's ever smooth and consistant even when coated in shit shifting is too sub-par for you?You hate 2 way Rapid fire shifters that have been the norm for the last 15 years and enjoy 2 tiny,really close together buttons?

Just leave bikes the way they're ment to be,Eden.8'' of travel,coil sprung,chain guide,big bars,and gnarly powerful brakes.Then we'll be alright.

How a bike should be.Mmmmm.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Pick me!..part 2.

So here's the second take on Pinkbike's top picks.This time around we're gonna take a look at the list of ex-MBA editor and all around general mountain bike doofer,Richard Cunningham.
He starts his list off with saying the "best new idea" is Shimano's little plus switch on XTR derailers.Well,fuckin-a we can both agree on something I guess.I'm gonna skip over the "someone finally got it right" award because i've never ridden SPD pedals before because I started clipping in on the best,Crank Brothers,and have never needed to try the second best.I'll also be leaving the "simple is better" category alone because Commencal's ride like a dream and I don't need anyone to tell me why.Then we stumple upon the "favorite trail/AM tire" which,drumroll please,is the...wait,what the fuck?The Schwalbe Hans Dampf.I mean honestly look at that piece of shit.Square center knobs and HUGE gaps between every knob.You're gonna tell me that that rolls fast and hooks up,because i'm calling 100% horseshit on that.Every Schwalbe tire i've ridden has been either this,a fucking ice skate or a damn diesel locomotive.Underbuilt with a weird tread pattern,or overbuilt,heavy,and slow.Hey,RC do yourself a favor and go grab a Weirwolf 2.3,Wolverine 2.2,or a Mutano 2.4 then report back to me and tell me what you think of your Hans Dampf.I don't even understand the "we get it" award.Seems like another stroke added on Sram's dick."Comeback kids",Marzocchi.Hell yeah.My 04' 888 kicked ass and the 2011 888 kicks ass.Long live 437 gallons of fork oil inside of your stanctions."An argument against flats"...yeah,Danny Hart is pure fucking loose cannon talent but roughly 4 years ago Sam Hill put in more time on the rest of the field on the same course(granted far better weather conditions) on flats.Then came back in the finals,in the same weather conditions Hart had,ate shit then made up loads of time and finished second while everyone else was O.T.A.All on flats.Flats rule and always will.Ask Cully,Hill,Fairclough,and the flats master himself,Kovarik.Magura as the "favorite technical trail brake"?Ever heard of new generation XT?Or Saint?Theeeerrreee we go.There's some fucking brakes for you.Not some German shit boxes that run on proprietary fluid.

Once again,you're saying "You just hate too much,have an open mind."Well,here's my list...then look at back at RC's list and tell his isn't shit.

-Best new idea-RC nailed it,the Plus switch.Can't wait for Saint+.
-Someone finally got it right-Gravity Dropper.They've had it right for like 10 years,too.
-Simple is better-Yep,Commencal.Shows what a single pivot and a little bit of linkage can do.
-Favorite trail/AM tire-Anything WTB.Prove me wrong.
-We get it-I still have no idea what this award is for.
-Comeback kids-Trek.Remember the Liquid?Now look at the Remedy and Slash.Comeback indeed.
-An argument against flats-Fight Kovarik...I dare you.
-Comeback kid 2-Still Trek.The Diesel DH and the Session 10 to carbon wonder bike Session 9.9.
-Favortie technical trail brake-Shimano,Shimano,Shimano.
-Bucket list-Any dual slalom race ever.

The Diesel.Ouch,my eyes.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Pick me!

So Pinkbike has been running a "Top Picks" thing for a couple of days.They've honestly picked some ridiculous catagories and even more ridiculous shit to go in them.Most promising technology went to 29'ers as a whole?Mike Levy then goes on to talk about the normal shit every 26'' quitter talks about."Ohhh,no the wheels are stiff,a 4'' travel 29'er feels the same as a 6'' travel 26'er,and blahblahblahthey'rethewaveofthefuture."He gives the normal speech of "but,yeah...I still ride gnarly shit and stuff and like to earn my turns."No you don't.Cause you can't turn those fuckers without the front wheel pushing or you high siding.He closes his blurb saying that nobody's forcing you to ride 29'' wheels and that having 2 different ride characteristics will be a good thing.Yeah,it is good.Cause it'll seperate the people who are boring fun haters from the people who find seatbouncing things fun.The rest of Mr.Levy's article is filled with pictures of men in sleeveless shirts skidding down some rocks,him saying 1x10 drivechains are a trend and not that they are the only way your bike should be set up because front derailers are sent dircetly from the deepest,darkest pit of hell,claiming the Reverb seat post is the "clear leader" in the dropper post category which mkaes me wonder if Gravity Dropper really is as small of a company as they truly are,and he then throws down a claim that makes anything he says for the rest of his life invalid.He proclaims the Superfly 100 to be his "Bike of the year".Holy fucking shit.Apparently Levy's taste in bikes revolves around half cooked spaghetti,short travel,and wagon wheels.

Now you're probably saying,"Well fuck you...what would your top picks be?"I'll answer that for you...
-Favorite new product-Shimano 10 speed mountain stuff.
-Best product under $50-Renthal kevlar grips.
-Most promising technology-WTB TCS shit.
-Best destination-The stuff TEAM DUMPED! builds that we won't show you.
-Best underdog performance-Gravity Dropper.
-Best gear trend-E13 LG1+ guides,but they ain't a trend,motherfucker.
-Favorite bike-My Green Machine.Guarenteed 29er door-blower-offer.
-Best product-Point One as a company.

I'll get to you,Richard Cunningham,later...

Tuesday, December 20, 2011


That is the biggest problem these days, a lot of guys don't seem to understand how frustrating it can be. This is why I don't take people scouting or digging with me anymore. You put so much time and effort into an have someone find it or hear about and come poach it just grinds my gears. I mean, it's not like you own that land where your zone is, but when you start developing that area and putting in the time and effort, you sort of stake a claim. Just because you're digging on one thing doesn't mean you're going to dig on another in that area. So when someone comes into that zone and starts building something a few yards away or starts digging ON your line or even just full-on poaches what you have built, it's very frustrating.
     There are a lot of poachers out here, scavengers, coyotes, whatever you want to call them. I've had people even film and take photos on my lines before I even get to shoot them, which then makes that line pretty much unusable for me. It really sucks to see hours and weeks of hard work get raped like that, It's one of those unwritten codes that you just don't break. There are alot of riders out there today that have coasted off of others vision and hard work.

That's an excerpt from an interview with Graham Agassiz over on Vital.I'm psyched that a pro can come out and say that,believe it or not there are probably people getting slightly offended over that.I'm currently dealing with a massive quanity of poachers on a trail that i've been digging on for roughly 10 years on and off.This trail runs near an XC trail and through some space that's owned by a logging company.It's a good little spot.Mainly off the beaten path,good dirt,lots of trees,and is shuttleable.She was kept pretty damn secret up untill about 3 years ago.Word of said trail spread from friends,to friends of friends,to friends of friends of friends,all the way to that all knowing,all seeing bastard the internet.Before I know it,i'm running into groups of dudebros on Konas putting down my trail.There's mutiple trucks of people shuttling my trail.There's shotty jumps being built on my trail,and worst of all there's people tearing down MY work on MY trail because it's too hard for them.There's no fucking worse feeling in the world then hiking up a trail only to see the sweet,perfectly gapped double you built 3 days ago turned into 2 piles of dirt and logs with Kenda Nevegal prints all over the place.It's this weird mixture of anger,dissapointment,sadness,and hopelessness.You rebuild anyhow,but deep down inside you know it's a futile attempt.You know it will be destroyed once again.I guess people don't relize how selfish they're being when they do that to a trail.Let me break it down from their point of view...
-I can't clear this double.
-Somebody else built this,and they built it for their skill level.It doesn't work for me.
-I want to keep riding this trail,but do not want to deal with this jump.
-I will tear this down so I can ride this trail.
-Success,the jump has been delt with,now I can ride this trail.
-The Kona stinky is the best bike ever.Also,this Giro Remedy is very comfrotable and stylish.
Basically,think of it like this,somebody goes through all the trouble to make reservations at a nice restaurant and buy you a nice present.When the 2 of you get to dinner you open the present and proclaim you don't like it,on top of that when the food arrives you say it's shit and insist on going to Taco Bell.That's what people fucking with your trail feels like.All that time and thought and goes to waste.

Now I don't really mind people riding stuff i've built or had a hand in building.In a dream world only I and a few select others would get to ride the fruits of our labor,but this is real life and that's never gonna happen.I just wish people would leave well enough alone.If you do wanna pick up a shovel,do helpful sutff.Clean out berms,pack the back and sides of jumps,fix bomb holes and keep brush and weeds from intruding.

As Graham said,it's an unwritten law.
Don't fuck with my shit.

Trail poacher,example #1.

Friday, December 16, 2011

I come from a land down under.,10806/mporafr,9125

That video pretty much sums up why I like downhill bikes.Kits,nice bikes,good tracks,and shitty loose corners.The more I thought about how cool the Aussie DH scene is,the more I noticed our 'Merican scene sucks...hard.The lack of a solid race series is the biggest kick in the jeans.Remember when NORBA's used to be mini world cups?Having the NORBA title at the end of the year used to mean something,now the series doesn't exsist and has been split into about 50 other ones.It used to be all your events at one place over the course of a weekend.DH,Slalom/4x,XC,and short track.No longer is that the case.XC has their own deal now,still ran through USA Cycling and all the "gravity" stuff was pretty much left on it's ass to die.Luckily some people stepped in and took control.But the events are sporadic,hold little to no UCI points,and most of the time,lack a chairlift.

I just feel like a solid series back here in the States shouldn't be that hard to do.I'm not saying I could do it,i'm far to lazy to handle the logistics and whatnot,but here's my idea for a NORBA-esque US mountain bike race series.

-Do them at ski resorts.Not on some hill that used to be your local spot,or some ranch out in the middle of no where.You're not gonna draw in a crowd when you have to park your car two miles away from the racing and walk in on deer trails.I know it probably costs alot more to do this,but it makes the most sense.

-Enclude enduro/all mountain style racing.Lots of people like this stuff,think it's worth their money and already have the bike for it.

-Do the racing like this.Friday is open practice for everything,capped off with the finals of gated racing.Saturday is XC in the early morning,they like to be up that early anyway.Saturday afternoon/evening is enduro finals and Sunday is short track in the early morning with DH finals from early afternoon to evening.Sprinkle in some practice for everything over the course of the weekend and nobody's bummed on their race weekend.

-Make entry fees reasonable.I'm not gonna pay $80 for your shuttle/chairlift-less DH.Discounts for mutiple race entries,blah,blah,blah.

-Do an end all,be all championship.Not National Champs,but a series specific championship.

-UCI points.Seriosuly.How are we gonna get 'Merican racers to world cups if they don't have UCI points?Exactly.

So yeah.There's that.Maybe someone will do this at somepoint.Maybe not.Maybe i'll just move to Aussie land.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Why I hate Cyclocross.

I like bikes.All kinds of bikes.While I talk shit on most kinds of bikes that aren't 26'' wheeled,designed for slalom,or have 6 to 8'' of travel,it's all in good fun.But there is one type of bicycle that I truly have disdain for,the cyclocross bike.Every time I see one of these confused bastards I feel sorry for the cycling "industry".It's like Europe brought us the black plauge over again.

35 to 38c knobby tires,drop bars,road drivechain,32 hole wheels and worst of all,occasionally disc brakes.They just serve absolutely no purpose in my mind.Then there's the riders of these contraptions.They usually can't hold it together on a mountain bike,and also feel like they accel at riding road.So it's the perfect world for them.Redline yourself for 30 minutes all the while just riding along a relatively non-complex piece of double track and constantly getting on and off your bike to walk over those things horses jump over in competitions.I think that's one of the reasons I don't like this genre of riding.The one thing I hate doing while i'm out on a ride is having to fully dismount my bike,climb over or up something,then remount said bicycle.Really interrupts that noiseless fun zone you get into on a bike.Last but not least,the racing itself."Yeah,punk rock chaos!Woooooo!"That's what I feel like every fan of cyclocross has going through their heads while they're at a race.Lets hand out shitty beer and candy on every lap,that makes our sport stand out more!Yet these are the same poeple that get offended when I boo Brian Lopes and blast Cat 3's with my air horn at Sea Otter.It's all bike racing,just because it's "supposed" to be rowdy doesn't mean that's the only place you can be.

I dunno.
I guess I just don't get it.Probably never will.
You have fun ice skating around on your 38c Ritchey tires,i'll be grining my dick off as i'm fully hooked up on my 2.4 WTB's.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Products I can't live without,Vol 2.

Point One podium pedals.Ahhhh yes,the ultimate flat pedal.

I was riding a set of O.G. Straitline pedals that I was pretty content with when I first saw them.I didn't think anyone could improve on a set of flats,over what Straitline had done,but was I ever wrong.I took the somewhat expensive dive into a set of these bad larrys and was super stoked when they arrived on my doorstep.The thinness,the weight,the size,and my favorite part,the stiff bearings all made me forget about those chunky Canadian foot rests.

This was over 2 seasons ago.A couple of chewed up pins and some scrapes here and there are all that have happened to these wonder pedals.The bearings still spin stiffly and they still look quite new seeing as they're one of the main things on a downhill bike that actually strikes the ground from time to time.They're going into their third season in the next few months.Untouched.I'm pretty much 100% positive they won't let me down this season either.

Long live the Podium pedal!

My 5.10 resting place of choice.The Podiums.


I love wide bars.I really truly do,but it has to stop somewhere.I feel like this set of bars blew past the stop sign and had a head on with a bus full of children.915mm,for all us 'Merican, is an ass hair over 36''.That shit is just absurd.First off,who the fuck has a wingspan that requires anything near that?Also,how much stress is that putting on your stem,that's a whole lot of leverage for the average stem whose face plate width is maybe 2'' wide.And lastly I don't care what kind of butting you use,what kind of fancy version of aluminum you use,or what kind of heat treatment you use those fuckers are gonna be flexy.Really flexy.

All I know is I expect to see lots of brand new Demo frames,shiny D3 helmets,and these bars being piloted around by some 13 year olds.So just quit it Superstar.Let Renthal continue to make the best bars money can buy while you try to throw a yardstick of bars at me.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Nerd out.,0

Holy fuck.
This is the kinda shit that I get wayyyyy to into,so here's another edition of "my take on the shit in this article".

-Shimano,I fucking love you with nearly every millimeter of my heart,but quit it.We don't need a derailer hanger "standard".I am glad you're getting rid of the little bolt hanger on your rear ders though.That shit sucked and it's the only part I ever blew out from you guys.

-New Saint?!We all knew it was coming but fuck me I didn't know it was gonna be this good.Looks like Shimano will once again be raping my bank account for everything it's worth.Read the article for all the filthy,boner inducing details.Also some new flat pedals to finally kill off what I believe to be one of the worst sets there is?

-Cheap Saint with a weird name?Hell yeah!Now everyone can afford to have the most badass shit on the planet and I don't have to drop over $100 for a spare derailer.Redesigned SLX too,with  Shadow+?Please,please,please do a medium cage and Shimano I promise you i'll ride my trailbike's drivechain to shit and buy all new purdy stuff so you guys can further rape my bank account.

-Just kill the Gripshift off,Sram.The only people that use it are full blown quakers.They're no need to keep feeding their want for shitty stuff that became irrevelant 15 years ago.You're just making them,their custom steel hardtails,and 29'' Stans to King wheels feel like they still have a place in mountain bikes.Oh and what's that Sram?'re playing catch up to a company who's main source of income is fishing reels?You're never gonna win.So constantly redesigning redesigned products is useless.Sounds like a new shock for,more then likely,AM/Enduro stuff and a new air spring for most of the air forks...hopefully they ditch the robot phallic damper,too.

-Oh great,a big name is supporting 650b horseshit.Now they have another reason to justify why their wheel size is better then the other 2.I knew it was gonna happen but I didn't want it to,the 160mm 34 for 26'' wheels.It'll probably be a 15mm axle,too.Fox,you crafty motherfuckers.Draining my pockets with the addition of my dream fork to your line up.Also psyched on the name change on the shocks,makes explaing Propedal settings easier to people who think they know alot.New DU bushings too...nice touch.Now maybe certain suspension designs won't eat those things for breakfast,lunch,and dinner.Not psyched on proprietary air cans.

-Crankbrothers,your new post sounds interesting.Make it 100% mechanical and you might,just might be able to knock off the reigning dropper post champion,the Gravity Dropper.Yeah,yeah all you Reverb nerds,"NO,NO FUCKING WAY MAN,The Reverb owns all."I'll see you in a few weeks when I have to send your post back to Sram.Then i'll see you a few weeks later when your main air seal gives way and you drop $80 on a rebuild.I'm content with my once a year $12 overhauls and a consistantly functioning seat post.

-I'm ever so delighted to see "standards" failing too.Overdrive headtube,you should of been shot down when the idea guy at Giant said "Hey,I've got a new headset system."BB30,I would be so excited to watch you go down.Anything Cannondale advertises as "theirs" typically has a track record of sucking...hard.2 tissue paper thin C-clips as bearing seats?No thanks.And Press Fit(PF) 30.You bastard cousin of BB30,I wanna watch you choke too.Special Loc-Tite to hold you in carbon frames,the fact nobody can get your O.D. right on BB shells,and your plastic cups all suck.Good-fucking-riddance I say.

"Secret" Training Center

So our "local" (hour drive) downhill trails that we have been building on for quite a while thanks to Taylor for showing us, have become like a drunk girl at a frat house. The trail is ridden by shuttle groups of goons who dont do a single lift of a shovel and trail clearing. So we went up to do some runs and of course we took shovels to do a fix it lap so we could ride the trail in its some what glorious conditions. I took my friends gopro and made this little edit.

loc'd out on

So i wouldnt be mad about people riding a trail that weve built and maintained for all this time if they would just help some out and keep the trail we all love running and prime. Search the name of this place and youd find a grip of crappy edits on youtube. If everyone loves it like we do, why are we the only ones that care.

Oh well, shred it till it dies right?

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Import Impossible.

So,there's a little thing in this "industry" that always kinda bums me out.This little thing would the lack of being able to get cool shit from places outside the good ol' US of A.

I love the bikes that the UK produces.I mean really,who hasn't wanted to own an Orange 2Twenty-whatever at somepoint in their life.I'd do some favors and drop some coin if I could get my hands on a Five.66 headangle,low ass BB,and a long top tube.Yes please!Not to mention the ever boner-inducing Lapierre DH 920 from a couple of years back.Fuck me,I would have given some parts of my man hood for that thing.Let's not even dive into all the little brands from across the pond that i'd very much enjoy throwing a leg over.Cube,Labyrinth,Curtis,Last and Sacren among many,many others.Then there's all the other cool little shit I can't get my grubby mitts on.The supposed warm butter silkiness of Bos suspension,those awesome crown/stem combos from Chunked,and the cheap yet rad stuff from Superstar.All of these products plus a million more out of my reach,all due to patent infringments,dodgy distribution over here and a big ass lake inbetween 2 masses of land.

What really bums me out is it seems as though all the other contries in the world have little to no trouble getting stuff from us.Intense,Santa Cruz and Turner frames are no big deal.Point One pedals and stems,fuck yeah no problem.WTB tires and seats,have that shit to you in a jiff.Sure,they have to pay quite a bit more then us Yankees but man...absolutely no way to get their good shit,but all they have to do is phone up the local distro and they can have every amazing piece of two wheeled machinery we produce.

I guess it's all relative though...have fun waiting for the box link on your M9 Europe,I can have mine by the weekend.


Monday, December 5, 2011


So i get bored of riding the same stuff pretty easy, so when winter hits and the water starts falling (which hasn't really happened yet) I go and try to ride a bunch of different stuff. Over the weekend me and Evan headed out to the bay area to ride Carlmont and ride some jumps. I borrowed a gopro and this is what came of it.

a day out at cmont on

Sunday, December 4, 2011


There's always that bike.That one bike I don't quite get.The same question runs through my head everytime..."Does that really need to exist?"Apparently it does for some unknown reason.

You know the bikes i'm talking about,the bastard child of a DH bike and trail bike.7-8'' of travel,room for a front derailer,full length seat tubes.They're always set up the same,too.Long travel,large stanction single crowns,a heavy ass set of wheels,full Sram drivechain and brake set up,and god forbid the repuslive Hammerschimdt.The pilot of said machine is of a similar type as well,middle aged,visor down,sunglasses in place of goggles,and a set of hardshell knee/shin guards.

Maybe it's just me,but where in the fuck do you need such a bike?You mean to tell me the only way up to your DH trail is by pedaling?I call bullshit.There's an access road somewhere,or you need to build trails that are shuttleable.Or is it that your XC loop is that gnarly?If it is,and there's no way it is,you need to get yourself on a slack 6'' with some strong wheels.Really...where do these places exist?

I guess I just don't understand them.But come on...even on paper you have to be able to see they suck.66 headangle with a barely sub 15'' BB all paried with a short top tube and portly weight.They suck going up and they suck comming down.Hey,whatever floats your boat.That is,if your boat is set aloft by an awkward conglomeration of shit.

The ringleader of this band of shit,the Santa Cruz Driver 8.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Products I can't live with out,Vol.1.

The Thomson seatpost.

Elegant.Understated.And flat out the single best piece of cycling product,ever.Your choice of every diameter in the cycling industry,straight ot layback,and black or silver.Machined out of one piece of aluminum right here in the good ol' USA.All for right around $100.

I couldn't even count how many of these beauties i've owned.Building up a new bike?It's always a must,Thomson seatpost in the QBP cart,please.In all of those posts i've never once had an issue.Never stripped a bolt,no creaks,and never slipped.The things just work.I'm throughly convinced when the nueclear destruction of Earth happens there'll be cockroaches and Thomson posts left.Gleaming brightly in their little grey bags.

Thomson posts,to me,are the start and finish to every fresh build.Grease down the seat tube,Thomson in,clamp frame in the stand,start build.Finish build,pull bike down,adjust seat angle and height,go do skids.It will more then likely be that way 'till the end of eternity,too.

So,here's wishing that LH Thomson Co. decides to never stop their little side project.

THE one and only,Thomson Elite.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

All Day

Those dudes you could watch shred it all day long, almost so long you forget to ride. I thought of this today while i was watching this video of Brendan Howey. This kid kills it like the place is his home trail.

Off The Radar - Brendan Howey from Mike Zinger on Vimeo.

This got me thinking about other people i could watch ride forever and the list quickly exploded, i wish i could build the ultimate playlist of these masters of steez and radness. Turns out thatd take forever so you can figure it out yourself. While my mind was wondering though this video popped into my head - Whipping with Brendan Fairclough from Matt Brooks on Vimeo.

and then i started thinking about all the local kids who kill it every time you go out to ride, and then i got stoked to ride. So point is when people kill it on their bikes, you want to kill it too. So go out and shred with the buddies, its whats its all about. And get pumped.

Hard knock life.

I fucking love hardtails.
Plain and simple.Mine is currently layed beside me with a flat rear tire,goose shit stuck to the front one,and hasn't seen a cleaning since the day it got built.The winter months are upon us and during these loomy dark times this bike sees the most action out of any of my fleet.My DH bike is in pieces awaiting it's new centerpiece and my trusty pedaly buddy,green machine,is a fair weather only steed.So when the rain hits hard but a sunny day off arives I always pick up my stiff friend.

I was once told by a ex-world cupper turned coach that a hardtail is one of the most versitile bikes you can ever own.And he was 100% correct.I beat the living hell out of my hardtail come "the offseason".Countless hours spent exploring local XC spots looking for abandoned horse trails.Tons of trips to the bikepark for some corner shreding goodness.Not to mention general razzing of short,mellow,backyard DH stuff.I can't get enough of the feeling I get when give my hardtail the beans.That placebo effect of going a million miles an hour on sections of trail that feel fully in control on a squishy bike.It constantly gives me an ear to ear shit eating grin.

I'm a firm believer that everyone who wants to start riding mountain bikes should start off on a hardtail.Now,let me preface that sentance by saying I didn't start this fact I got my first hardtail about 3 years ago.At any rate,they'll teach you the basic fundamentals of riding a dirt oriantated bicycle.They'll tell you if you decided to take the wrong line,and that right there will make quick work of making you a smoother rider,which in turn will make you a faster rider.Also back to that mutiple use thing,go on a group XC ride one day,hit some jumps another day,and hammer a pump track the next.All of this while,more then likely,never making a peep and always working great.

If you've got a hardtail do yourself a favor,leave the full susser at home every now and again and go beat yourself up on it.You won't regret it,I promise.Personally i'm looking forward to these upcomming months spent mainly with Mr.hardtail.Alls I gotta do is fix a flat and we're off to gallop through some rocks,throw some roost and ultimately spend a lovely 4 days bashing gates on a hillside on Lagua Seca raceway in April.

Hardtails rule.

Knife to a gun fight.

So,i'll admit...I was a little late to the draw on reading that absurd Pinkbike article Cam posted about yesterday.I just navigated myself through that thing and felt like I got stupider.So,do yourself a favor and read it,then read this because here's a point counter point from the outside looking in.

Bigger contact patch-Yep.9er's do have this,and it does help.Espically since you just started "biking" 2 months ago and already got on "sponsored" and are,"on a team".

Wheel strength-Fuck you,Chris.How long have you worked in shops?Oh? never...ok.I don't know how many times I see out of true 9er wheels come through my doors.The second those wagon wheels loose the slightest bit of tension they're a ticking time bomb.I've ridden half a day at my local mountain with 4 broken spokes on an old 823 to Hadley set up and guess what,the wheel was arrow straight and stayed that way.Oh,and thanks for using Gravy as a referance.I'm pretty confident that my wheel builds are on par with that washed up fuck.Ohhhhh,you built wheels for Lopes when he was an up and comer,you don't need to have a chip on your shoulder about it.

Chainstay length-MY DICK you can get 29'' stays the same length as modern 26''.Espically if we're talking DH bikes.Here,Chris i'll believe you when you put right in front of my face exactly this.A working 8'' travel 29er that under full compression doesn't hit the seat tube,has roughly a 17.25'' chainstay with room for a 30+mm wide rim,2.5'' DH casing tire with good tread,and healthy mud and rock clearance.Also keep the geometry in the ball park of modern day race frames.I'll buy your hefty claim then,sir.

Will 29's take over?-Chris claims yes,and goes as far as saying he has "downhillers going faster on 29ers".I bet you gave your Twian catalog WFO to Brook McDonald and had him take it for a run down Shladming,right?Nope.what you did was give it to a local hero,sent him out on a fireroad and then claimed he was hella faster on it.

He then goes to claim that people that are nay-sayers haven't spent time on a 29'er before.Well,it may not have been a great deal of time but I have.Both full suspension and hardtail.My verdict?They were shit.They did roll fast that's for sure but the second I wanted to have any sort of fun I couldn't.Lay it into a corner?Nope,fucker wanted to highside due to wheel flop.Pre-load off of rocks,small bumps,and roots?Nope,wheel just plowed over them.The bike just felt dead.Think '04 first gen. V10 with a 5th Element dead.It wasn't alive,poppy, just didn't reract as well to rider input.Which is truly why I believe that 29er's do so well.The undertrained,undertalanted,rookie.Imagine slacking off all the angles of your standard 4'' travel 26'' trail bike,adding huge wheels and tires so bumps become non exsistant and have a crutch that makes beginners believe they can pedal like Julien Absolon and handle downhill duties like they're fucking Greg Minnar.

It's a farce,a sugar pill,a band-aid.I'm sorry that your company is based around lies,Chris.But it's the truth.When you finally do release your 29'' DH bike that you picked from a catalog in the far east how about you and all the stoned hippys that answer the phones at your company actaully answer the phones,handle the warrantys correctly,ship the product out on time,and make sure the product i'm recieving is the correct one.Cause you're gonna need it,hoss,cause that things gonna fail.Miserably.

Monday, November 28, 2011

A true friend.

Someone who's trustworthy,you can count on,and has your back when shit gets wild.
All of these things describe my friend the WTB Mutano tire.This rubber rim cover has been on and off the front of quite a few of my bikes for the past handful of years.I've never once met a trail condition that couldn't be handled by this knobby beauty.I've ridden everything from flowing rivers of shit and peanut butter mud,to bone dry sand and rocks.All with my little round buddy keeping me ever confident in the corners.I've tried many a tire,Minion,Weirwolf,Comp 32,Comp 16,High Roller,Ardent...nothing compared to my time tested friend.

I dunno what it is about said tire that makes it the perfect match for my riding style.Maybe it's the super square edged side knobs?The insanley fast rolling center tread?The DNA rubber?A combo of all that?Whatever it is,all I know is she flat out hauls ass.In her svelt 2.2 race case form,or the curvy and squishy 2.4 AM's to you good friend,and here's to many more years together...

Hey everyone,meet Mutano.


Alright seriously, if i hear about how 29 inch wheels are going to replace 26 because they "roll better" and "smoother over rough terrain" im going to shoot something. That being said, i do understand their purpose. If you love cruising around folsom lake then 29ers are for you. If you actually enjoy having fun and playing around on the trail ... well then you already know that 29ers suck.

Im ranting because of this:
some stupid industry jerks rambling about why well all be proven wrong when 29ers take over the world. If that day comes, i will return to my skateboard.

I know they have their place and they arent all bad, but just stop trying to shove down my throat how these larger than necessary wheels are going to change the way i ride and make my life better ... they wont, they'll just make it way more boring.

Sunday, November 27, 2011


I am Camden, i ride bikes for fun. Unlike Taylor i do not or have not ever worked at a bike shop. I am a bike nerd, but i dont have shit on Taylor. That being said i will be here for the fun. I enjoy ripping bikes, thats it thats all. I do have some strong opinions about this little activity we all enjoy and all the things that go with it, riders, companys, people, parts, trends, racing, contests, trips, all that good stuff.

Team Dumped is our crew of shredders. Just here for a good time on some 26 inch wheels ... and 20's too i guess.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

My standard standards are high.

You know,uniform,all the same,and the like.
Not in "the industry".
BB30,BB92,12x142,12x150,12x157,SHIS headtubes,ISCG,15x100.
Holy shit.If you have a bike company,you probably have a so called "standard" that you dreamed up thinking it would solve everyone's problems.Well you didn't.You made me memorize 46 different ways to install a bottom bracket,made me buy a Cane Creek Gary Guage,and stranded with me 2 options for my rear hub.One of which is ungodly expensive,the other is unsealed with shit freehub engagement.

Now if there were some sort of bicycle industry cheif or something,and I happened to be this fellow this is how frames would look...

-12x150 rear end.
-83mm English BB shell with intergrated ISCG 05.
-1.5'' regular cup headtube.
-31.6 seatpost.

All Mountain-
-12x135 rear end.
-73mm English BB shell with intergrated ISCG 05.
-1.5'' regular cup headtube.
-31.6 seatpost.
-Dropper post cable guides.

-12x135 rear end.
-73mm English BB shell with intergrated ISCG 05.
-Tapered 1 1/8'' to 1.5'' regular cup headtube.
-31.6 seatpost
-Dropper post cable guides.

-12x135 rear end.
-73mm English BB shell.
-Tapered 1 1/8'' to 1.5'' regular cup headtube.
-31.6 seatpost.

-10x135 through axle rear end.
-73mm English BB shell.
-1.5'' regular cup headtube.
-31.6 seatpost.

Along with these set,unchangeable stardards all forks would be 20x110 through axle,with either a Maxle type system or the whole solid axle with pinch bolts set up.All seatposts would be tube shaped.Fuck you if you think your "aero tested" teardrop seatmast is better in any way shape or form then a 31.6 Thomson.Wheel size would be 26'' or 29''...with the latter only being allowed on road,and bikes with less than 4'' of travel.Bar diameter would be a set 31.8 across the board.25.4 is for people who run 125mm stems off road.

So there it is.My heaven.I guess for now I better stick to reading up on Cannondale PDF's and using my Gary Guage to find the I.D. of the headtube on your new Niner carbon full suspension frame.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Dream Machine-Turner DHR.

Oh jeeze...where do I start when it comes to this shapley piece of alumnium.
I don't know when or where the first time I saw a DHR was but it was probably one of the first couple of times I visited my yearly friend the Sea Otter Classic.There was something about that bike,maybe it was the yellow powder coat job,the twin top tubes,or the red spring on the Romic.Maybe it was the fact I was 13 and really wanted off of my Giant Warp DS1 and onto an 8'' travel wonder bike with a chain guide and dual crown fork.At any rate,I fell in love...little did I know that love would follow me for roughly a decade.

After I got my first so-called wonder bike (2001 Cannondale Gemini) I started getting the itch to go race these squishy machines.I raced for a few seasons and it wasn't until about the second or third year of racing  I noticed something.An evolution of my lover from years past.Gone were her twin top tubes,a beautiful vinyl sticker kit covered her from headtube to dropout,and that red spring was replaced with a remote piggyback-ed Fox shock.I was swept off my feet once again.I fell out of the MTB scene shortly after that encounter,racing and 26'' wheels in general were at the back of my brain.

I returned to adult sized wheels towards the end of the 2000's.I was racing again,and was loving it.I bought a few different frames from a few different companies,that was untill I decided I really wanted to try racing.Different states,travel,friends,new places.The whole bit.I pulled the trigger on my first ever,money was no object,100% new parts,no substitutions bike.At the time my friend was riding a DHR in the last incarnation I saw her in and he loved it.That inspired me to pull the trigger on a DHR as the center piece of this build.Whilst scouring the interwebs,I saw her.She'd lost quite a bit of weight,gained some curves and stole my heart again.This time around she'd lost the chunky square tubes and replaced them with thin,round ones.The head to toe moto inspired graphic kit was ditched,replaced with a subtle nearly transparent top tube sticker.The remote piggy back was gone,switched out for the standard piggy backed Fox DHX that was tucked nicley away in the frame.She had to be mine.A phone call to Turner,a smaller than I thought sum of money,and a few weeks later I had her all to myself.We spent plenty of time together.Sea Otter,a season of Northstar along with every race they had to offer,my first out of state race,and countless hours on the home trails.The both of us loved every minute of it.

But,every good thing has to come to an end at somepoint.I sold her smokey grey goodness at the end of that season to a kid in the Bay Area.It was a sad day,but new bikes,riding what your shop sells,and a never ending lust for bicycles masked that.I spent the next two seasons on a World Championship adorned French flyer.The whole time I was on said Frenchy,I couldn't help but notice that once again my lifelong lover was undergoing changes.This time it was big.She kept the round tubes,bailed out on the ever-lovely TNT suspension layout and went DW,and made herself longer,lower and lighter.She became the apple of everyone's eye at this point.

I've thrown a leg or 5 over my lady in her latest look and although the feel isn't exactly what it used to be and she's a spendy little cuss I can't help but still want her between my legs,getting sideways and shooting roost.It's not gonna happen this year,as I already have my lady of the season planned out...and boy howdy she's a looker.Right up there with my girl the DHR.

One day dream machine,one day...

The first version of my love.Circa 2001.

Round 2.Circa 2004

Round 3.Circa 2008.

Round 4.Current look.Circa 2011


Alright,so here it is.
Another blog-site dedicated to bikes.I'm not a local Cat-3 XC racer looking to post about how his last race turned out or plug his "sponsors".I'm here to ramble about things that have to do with bikes.
So,hopefully you like reading about stuff a lifelong rider and wanna-be racer who has spent most of their life in shops has to say about cycling,"the industry",racing,products,and people.