This is the kinda shit that I get wayyyyy to into,so here's another edition of "my take on the shit in this article".
-Shimano,I fucking love you with nearly every millimeter of my heart,but quit it.We don't need a derailer hanger "standard".I am glad you're getting rid of the little bolt hanger on your rear ders though.That shit sucked and it's the only part I ever blew out from you guys.
-New Saint?!We all knew it was coming but fuck me I didn't know it was gonna be this good.Looks like Shimano will once again be raping my bank account for everything it's worth.Read the article for all the filthy,boner inducing details.Also some new flat pedals to finally kill off what I believe to be one of the worst sets there is?
-Cheap Saint with a weird name?Hell yeah!Now everyone can afford to have the most badass shit on the planet and I don't have to drop over $100 for a spare derailer.Redesigned SLX too,with Shadow+?Please,please,please do a medium cage and Shimano I promise you i'll ride my trailbike's drivechain to shit and buy all new purdy stuff so you guys can further rape my bank account.
-Just kill the Gripshift off,Sram.The only people that use it are full blown quakers.They're no need to keep feeding their want for shitty stuff that became irrevelant 15 years ago.You're just making them,their custom steel hardtails,and 29'' Stans to King wheels feel like they still have a place in mountain bikes.Oh and what's that Sram?...you're playing catch up to a company who's main source of income is fishing reels?You're never gonna win.So constantly redesigning redesigned products is useless.Sounds like a new shock for,more then likely,AM/Enduro stuff and a new air spring for most of the air forks...hopefully they ditch the robot phallic damper,too.
-Oh great,a big name is supporting 650b horseshit.Now they have another reason to justify why their wheel size is better then the other 2.I knew it was gonna happen but I didn't want it to,the 160mm 34 for 26'' wheels.It'll probably be a 15mm axle,too.Fox,you crafty motherfuckers.Draining my pockets with the addition of my dream fork to your line up.Also psyched on the name change on the shocks,makes explaing Propedal settings easier to people who think they know alot.New DU bushings too...nice touch.Now maybe certain suspension designs won't eat those things for breakfast,lunch,and dinner.Not psyched on proprietary air cans.
-Crankbrothers,your new post sounds interesting.Make it 100% mechanical and you might,just might be able to knock off the reigning dropper post champion,the Gravity Dropper.Yeah,yeah all you Reverb nerds,"NO,NO FUCKING WAY MAN,The Reverb owns all."I'll see you in a few weeks when I have to send your post back to Sram.Then i'll see you a few weeks later when your main air seal gives way and you drop $80 on a rebuild.I'm content with my once a year $12 overhauls and a consistantly functioning seat post.
-I'm ever so delighted to see "standards" failing too.Overdrive headtube,you should of been shot down when the idea guy at Giant said "Hey,I've got a new headset system."BB30,I would be so excited to watch you go down.Anything Cannondale advertises as "theirs" typically has a track record of sucking...hard.2 tissue paper thin C-clips as bearing seats?No thanks.And Press Fit(PF) 30.You bastard cousin of BB30,I wanna watch you choke too.Special Loc-Tite to hold you in carbon frames,the fact nobody can get your O.D. right on BB shells,and your plastic cups all suck.Good-fucking-riddance I say.