Tuesday, January 10, 2012


Fat bikes.The bike of choice for somebody who absolutely must be different.

Fat bikes are begining to overtake cross bikes on my list of hatred.Now,I understand their use in snow.The reason they're slowly killing me with anger is the fact i'm now seeing these things on my local trails.I can assure you,there is no deep snow anywhere near my Northern California based ribbons of singletrack.Why are people riding fat bikes on hardpacked,manicured pieces of trail in 60 degree weather?That's what's killing me.Why would anyone want to lug around 4'' tires when you could be zipping along quite nicely on your standard issue 2.somethings?The people I see on these bastards are all of the same breed to.You can tell they've been riding mountain bikes for awhile,seem pretty salty,and have a beard.You know they think that hunk of steel and rubber between their legs is just the fucking shit,too.They can't be bothered by the normal "I give up on bikes that take skill to ride." trademark of a 29'' wheeled bike,so instead they opt for a 26'' wheel and 4'' tire.To me,the fat bike enthusiest is the recumbant rider of the dirt world.

Then there's the bikes themselves.Normally made by a "niche" Taiwan catalog company,or some high zoot asshole from Oregon.Typically out of steel or Ti and always have an "understated" look.Most are paired up with one of the like,3,fork choices you have.Of which all are rigid.No,wait sorry...the Jones ti fork "feels" like a suspension fork and only costs twice as much as the highest end DH dual crown.Don't even get me started on the choice of handle bars most used by fatbike riders,because you know what makes sense when you're descending down some midly rough terrain...low rise beach cruiser handle bars.And no,Jeff Jones,I will not pay $300 for your shitty bars that are "hand wrapped" with Brooks leather bar tape.

I hope this fad dies off quick.I pray that a suspension manufacturer dosen't make a 4'' wide tire compatable,135mm spaced,disc ready 3'' travel fork.We don't want to feed the fire,industry.If you quit tending to it,it will burn itself out.So Kenda don't make a 4'' wide Nevegal.CST,you better not even think about making 4'' tubes,and Trek,you fuckers in Wisconsin better not mass produce one of these shitboxes...remember how well the 69'er went over?Yeah,it'll be like that times a 100.

Remember the motto kids-
-8'' of travel.
-Coil suspension.
-Chain gudie.
-Gnarly brakes.
-Gnarly tires.

No comments:

Post a Comment