So join me,if you will,for a personal account of TEAM DUMPED!'s first stab at a cross race from Wednesday,12/12/12.
4:45pm-Blast out the front doors at work and get into my car.I've got no money in my pocket and 15 minutes untill reg opens.Hammer over to the bank,hit the quick cash button on the ATM and make my way down to the Rodeo Grounds.
5:02pm-Make the scene and pull up next to Cam's truck.Garry T,Cam,and Cody have all been there since 4:30 and have already ridden a practice lap.Garry's on his dirtjump bike with the seatpost pulled up to the maximum height mark and a pair of SPD's slapped on,Cody nabbed a size small rental Camber 29 from work and is wearing shorts,a t-shirt,and a full cut Pro-Tec,despited it being in the low 50's with a chance for drizzle.Cam's seated aboard a clapped Diamondback X-link from the fucking turn of the Millenium with a skate helmet and goggles on.I ask them where reg is,fill out my waiver,hand over $25,and the only thing the girl who's running reg says to me is "There's a alot of you team dumped guys tonight.".Hurry back to my car so I can throw on a base layer,a flannel,some jeans,and a pair of near gripless Emericas,shoddily pin my number to somewhere on my back and raise the post of my Tazer like 2 inches,so atleast I can sit down kind of.At this point the race starts in about 10 minutes,no time for a practice lap.I'm going in blind.
5:30pm-The whistle blows and we're off.TEAM DUMPED! pulls a four man holeshot all the way through the first two straights,that is untill we hit the one and only hill on the course.I don't see it comming and pretty much try to grunt it out in something like 7th gear on my 36 tooth,11-25 set up.Pretty much everyone blows my doors off.Make it to the top with my knees all sorts of pissed off,spin across the parking lot and hit dirt.First stretch of dirt opens up with a greasy right handed flat corner into a series of soul sucking wet grass switchbacks,which if those wern't enough,a sand section was thrown half way in just to attempt to suck your liver out even more so.Got out of that mess and saw the trail pointed down,opened 'er up and made my way down the somewhat well lit but fucking snotty section that led us down into the woods.Multiple sections of off camber,wayyyy to tight of turns,a couple of barriers,and one hell of a muddy shithole make up a majority of the woods.I spin out in the mudhole and almost lose my shoe in it,clumsily make my way over the barriers,and almost go straight over the bars in a surprisingly deep G-out.A couple more pedal sections and some meandering turns and i'm back on the pavement.Lap one in the books.
Lap 2-I kind of catch my breath on the pavement,actaully pick the right gear to get up the hill in and sort of know where i'm going and what the course is like.I throw some roost here and there,make it through said shithole and actually start to see people again.At this point,i'm actually having fun.Every corner is greasy and causes some sort of drift to a varying degree.I'm feeling alright.According to the timing sheet I saw after the race this was also my quickest lap of the night.
Lap 3-Pretty much the same as lap 2.Still having fun,made my way around a couple of people and continue banging corners and hanging some feet off.Co-worker/homeboy/fit son of a bitch,Aaron,is behind me casually spinning along forcing me to keep going.
Lap 4-Now it sets in.My hands are numb from the cold,the band-aid that is keeping my previously sliced open at work pinky finger together is stuck to my grip,i've got mud in my eyes,my knees feel like they're going to explode,and my bike weighs an extra 10 pounds courtesy of all the mud stuck to it.There's no way my knees are letting me make it up that hill again,so I get off and shuffle my way up the short,but steep little bastard.Re-mount and hit dirt again.The switchbacky wet grass part nearly kills me,I spin out yet again in the shithole,and walk over the barriers.I make it onto the pavement doing a solid 2 mph,barely keeping myself upright.It's right then and there I see the lap board go from 2 left,to 1 more to go.
Lap 5-I make it up the hill for the last time,all the way through the woods cleanly,albeit slowly,and back onto the pavement.I feel pretty alright again,snag a couple of clicks on my shifter and give it a full-tilt sprint to the finish.
We all finish,we're all happy,and we all had a shitload of fun.We hit the tent greeted by a "So how'd the downhiller group end up?"said by the race organizer,checked the instant results and TEAM DUMPED! ended up...
I think I beat a couple of under 14's,and maybe one or two 45+ guys,but all I know is I didn't end up last.That's pretty much all I wanted out of the night.So there you have it.A story of a group of lazy fucks who mainly ride in the form of gravity assisted going out and taking a whack at some shit roadies came up with so they had something to do in the offseason.Will we be back next week?It's up in the air,and spending $20 to get your dick pushed in is pretty steep.I can tell you forsure that,in this exact moment in time atleast, next year i'll be lined up at hopefully every race on a purpose built machine ready to get the shit kicked out of me while I have some fun.