Pick me!

So Pinkbike has been running a "Top Picks" thing for a couple of days.They've honestly picked some ridiculous catagories and even more ridiculous shit to go in them.Most promising technology went to 29'ers as a whole?Mike Levy then goes on to talk about the normal shit every 26'' quitter talks about."Ohhh,no the wheels are stiff,a 4'' travel 29'er feels the same as a 6'' travel 26'er,and blahblahblahthey'rethewaveofthefuture."He gives the normal speech of "but,yeah...I still ride gnarly shit and stuff and like to earn my turns."No you don't.Cause you can't turn those fuckers without the front wheel pushing or you high siding.He closes his blurb saying that nobody's forcing you to ride 29'' wheels and that having 2 different ride characteristics will be a good thing.Yeah,it is good.Cause it'll seperate the people who are boring fun haters from the people who find seatbouncing things fun.The rest of Mr.Levy's article is filled with pictures of men in sleeveless shirts skidding down some rocks,him saying 1x10 drivechains are a trend and not that they are the only way your bike should be set up because front derailers are sent dircetly from the deepest,darkest pit of hell,claiming the Reverb seat post is the "clear leader" in the dropper post category which mkaes me wonder if Gravity Dropper really is as small of a company as they truly are,and he then throws down a claim that makes anything he says for the rest of his life invalid.He proclaims the Superfly 100 to be his "Bike of the year".Holy fucking shit.Apparently Levy's taste in bikes revolves around half cooked spaghetti,short travel,and wagon wheels.

Now you're probably saying,"Well fuck you...what would your top picks be?"I'll answer that for you...
-Favorite new product-Shimano 10 speed mountain stuff.
-Best product under $50-Renthal kevlar grips.
-Most promising technology-WTB TCS shit.
-Best destination-The stuff TEAM DUMPED! builds that we won't show you.
-Best underdog performance-Gravity Dropper.
-Best gear trend-E13 LG1+ guides,but they ain't a trend,motherfucker.
-Favorite bike-My Green Machine.Guarenteed 29er door-blower-offer.
-Best product-Point One as a company.

I'll get to you,Richard Cunningham,later...